While the story is out to betas, we decided to edit some of it. Our brilliant beta Liz Page has helped us with good revision ideas. We're planning to do major editing, so my betas, please, if you WANT to drop the project all together, do so. Unless you want to help us out with the big picture stuff, of course. Anyways, this is part of the first rough line of the first revised chapter. The story now, is not only completely different, but we think, more elaborately developed. Guess sixth time is the charm :P
Thanks for reading guys!
Please tell us if it's too cheesy!
